A New Nude

Bobbi Brown's newest shimmerbrick is out this week (I found mine at Nordstrom today)--and it is fantastic. It lacks her usual stripe of white, which is always so useless to me as an old bat who does not need her wrinkles highlighted, and it concentrates instead on sandy/tan tones. It's the first shimmerbrick I've ever seen that actually works as eye shadow as well as it does cheek color, on any skintone. It is not the usual ugly bandaid hue that always is called nude. And this shimmerbrick is subtle. You will not be mistaken for a disco ball. Unless you wear that mirrored dress you like.

Yet More Hot Stuff: HAVE JOHNNY DEPP AND SHAHID AFRIDI EVER BEEN SEEN IN THE SAME PLACE AT THE SAME TIME????

Hot Stuff: More of What to Wear For Summer

I am about to suggest something revolutionary--for me, at least. Stop wearing eye makeup. In hot weather, there is no damn point. No anti-crease formula, no primer, no cream, no powder, no nuthin' is going to stay on your eyelids in 90 degree weather. Touching up makeup is a pain in the ass and it never looks right when you do that. So just don't even try. You know your shadow going to look like hell by lunchtime, especially if you spend much time outdoors, and if you are not Johnny Depp. Let us just acknowledge this and move on.

Of course I am not suggesting you do without mascara. I am not insane. You need something up there, just make it minimal. Even hot weather cannot dent the durabililty of the magical tubey mascaras. But if you don't like them, or if you feel like you need lash volume more than length (tubies don't do shit for thickening), I heartily endorse Loreal's new Extra Volume Collagen Waterproof mascara. Of course the claim that collagen applied topically to your lashes does anything at all is ridiculous, but it's good mascara and won't come off until you take it off. I found it at CVS displayed with little green bottles of Loreal waterproof eyemakeup remover called (for some reason) Clean Artiste. Both of them are awesome.

If wearing only mascara is still not enough for you, Tammy Faye, I do condone a touch of the powdered kohl liner, Guerlain or Loreal Hip, on the waterline. This stuff stays put even on the hottest day, and even if a bit of does smudge under your eye by evening, it looks like you meant that to happen.

What do you mean, you didn't?

Hot Stuff: What to Wear For Summer

Here's the deal with hot weather. You just cannot wear a face full of makeup in the summer. You can try--you can put it on with the best of intentions in the morning. But there is no guarantee that it will still be there by lunchtime, or that it won't be smeared all over your face. My solution for this is to wear as little of it as possible.

But sunscreen is not negotiable! Even if you sit at a desk all day, the rays are still zapping you through your car windshield, or on your walk to work. And sun damage is cumulative. So suck it up and wear the stuff. A tinted moisturizer with SPF (Bobbi Brown balm for super dry skin, Laura Mercier oil free for oilier skins) is a good multitasker, offering both color and protection. If you are pale and want to be even paler, I love Make Up For Ever UV Prime SPF 50. It's actually a primer, and it definitely lends a whitish cast, but I don't put anything over it. I like how it looks all by itself.

Even if you do not want to look, as I do, like the World's Oldest Goth Girl, the MUFE primer is awesome under a powder foundation like MAC Studio Fix (which is great because it comes in tons of colors and everybody can get a good match). Powders are fantastic for oily skin. And remember they don't have to go all over your face. Sometimes all you need is just a touch on your nose to combat redness. Powdering your cheeks and undereye area can be dicey, since powder over any dry area can magically induce haggardness five minutes after you walk away from the mirror. It won't be there when you look, only after.

Trust me.

Next Post: Summerproof your eyes!
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Charcoal in the Shower?

Summer is always problematic for me. I burn in the sun, and even if I'm not sunburned, the heat makes my pale skin splotchy. My hair frizzes. Makeup melts off. I am frightening. But over the years I have discovered some tricks to minimize the horror, and this week I'll be posting a few in honor of the turn of the season. Maybe they'll work for you, too!

Bug bites are another charming aspect of summer. I spent a couple of hours in my vegetable garden this afternoon battling a thistle infestation, and emerged with a large flat welt splayed across my forehead. I don't know what the hell got me, I just hope its bite is not fatal. But what helped enormously was a quick shower with this Detox Soap from Collective Wellbeing . I got it at Whole Foods yesterday. Apparently it's for your body, not necessarily for your face, but something about the zinc and charcoal really took the sting out of the thing on my forehead. Showering with black soap--which does not lather--is a little disconcerting, and it's not at all moisturizing (it's more for soothing purposes) but if you are prone to itchies and scratchies and welts and redness, this just might help you out.

New URL: apocalypsticknow.net

I switched URLs a few weeks ago, but apparently the old Blogger address is no longer rerouting to this new one. Please set your bookmarks to apocalypsticknow.net. Thanks!

Don't Bother: Maybelline's New Color Sensational Lipstick

Oh I want to like cheap stuff. I buy it, I do. And sometimes it's good. But sometimes--as was the case with Maybelline's new lipstick line, "Color Sensational,"--it's just terrible. The only sensation Color Sensational evokes is dismay that I spent good money on it. This stuff smells like old crayons. And it's a brand new line for Maybelline, so it's not like I got a rancid one. Anyway, don't buy this. There is nothing new or spectacular (or sensational!) about the wear or the consistency or the colors offered. The packaging had my hopes up, as it's much nicer than the old Maybelline lipsticks. But the product inside is much worse.

25 Percent Off Everything at MAC

The terrible economy continues to encourage excellent makeup bargains. Unfortunately I already blew big money at MAC last week paying full price, but if you are in the mood to splurge I encourage you to take advantage of this deal at maccosmetics.com at some point over the next three days. Don't know what to buy? See last week's post on Dazzleglass Lipgloss or spring for the new Naked Honey collection Honey Skin Salve, a handy tin of honey-scented clear skin balm. It's lovely.

Sparkle Plenty: Nars Night Star

This eyeshadow called Tropic is from the new Nars summer colors:


and I really love the gorgeous blue, but I would look like a brunette Mimi:



so to get my sparkle on I stick with Nars Night Star, which is a pale peach with tiny subtle (there is such a thing) glitter than no one will see without being an inch away from your face. This one has very little color payoff, and really isn't worth the bother unless you are 1. pale and 2.wanting only slightly more than nothing on your lids, if that makes sense at all.



Pretty!

25 Percent Off Everything at Bobbi Brown

This "creamy lipcolor" thing in Rose Brown is excellent if you hate lipstick--or if you hate gloss. It splits the difference, and is the perfect color.

Sparkle Plenty: MAC Dazzleglass

I am way too old for sparkly makeup--or so I thought. Usually I just wear it once a year. But this weekend I hit the new MAC store in Chevy Chase, Maryland (right on the corner of Western & Wisconsin where the Hecht's used to be), and was disabused of this notion with one word: Dazzleglass. Oh, it's sparkly all right. In the tube it is downright terrifying. But once ON, the glitter disappears and just makes your lips look huge. The color you want is called Get Rich Quick. It's a glittery copper, and nobody in her right mind would think it would look good, but it magically turns into a long-lasting, super-glossy, plumpifying nude. For serious. I would not joke about lip gloss.

The Ex-Factor

Proctor and Gamble announced today that they're phasing out Max Factor makeup in the United States. The line (100 years old this year--that's Max himself and a machine he invented to judge facial symmetry) will be pulled from stores over the next six months, an effort to be completed by January 2010. The only good thing MF makes is mascara--especially the 1000 Calorie thickening kind. They also are one of the few companies to make a true auburn mascara; stock up if you know any redheads. They'll thank you for it (it's also good on brows if you wipe the brush down well).

I pinpoint the company's decline to hiring Carmen Electra as a model. But nobody asked me.